Marriage Therapy: Helping You Find Your Way

You keep having that same fight over and over or you and/or your partner have shut down. You feel disconnected. I get it.

Many clients who see me as their Therapist for marriage therapy or couples counseling have waited a long time to seek therapy. They have tried to work things out on their own with little or only intermittent success. Things get better then they slide back.

Others recognize issues at an earlier point and seek a marriage therapist to improve their relationship before it gets to that point.

A relationship tune up.

All marriages and long- term relationships hit speed bumps and hurdles or sometimes go off the rails. Because of my own long- term marriage, I understand what it’s like to experience and work through challenges.

It’s just not possible to have a committed relationship without going through tough times.

That’s why the traditional marriage vows state “for better or worse”. Worse is assumed. Yes, I said that. Tough times will occur. It can be temporary but feel like it’s permanent.

We don’t need to get stuck there. We can learn to repair the tears.

Where’s the GPS for relationships?

As your marriage counselor or couples or individual therapist I can build on your strengths and help you to get unstuck from these unhelpful relationship patterns.

• Communication problems, blaming, irritability, criticism, conflict over the same issues again and again
• Feeling disconnected; drifting apart; like roommates
• Noticing unhealthy alcohol or substance use or in recovery
• Trust, commitment, or intimacy challenges
• Frustrated over extended family, finances, work-life balance, stressors, parenting, chores ?

There is hope.

Many couples I see as their marriage therapist are in their beginning years of marriage or a committed relationship or have young children. They are hitting their first serious challenges or wish to get help before that occurs.

Other couples who come for marriage counseling have been together a long time.  They may be launching kids, are empty nesters, or find themselves struggling with how relationships work, or don’t work, later in life. Sometimes the issues have existed for years.

Many seek couples counseling even though they have a solid foundation because recent stressors with work-life balance, in-laws, parent’s illness or death, challenging transitions, career changes, substance use or recovery, or parenting all add stress on relationships.

• We are hard wired for connection and a secure bond.
• When it’s frayed, it’s painful.
• We’re anxious, worried, drained, angry, overwhelmed, irritable, afraid, or depressed over it.
• When couples hit these low points it’s easy to feel hopeless and to assume the situation, current frustrations, or lack of connection are permanent.
• That may not be the case at all.

Couples often get caught in negative cycles, which interfere with communicating or connecting effectively. Marriage Therapy focuses on identifying the feelings, thoughts and behaviors that underlie couples’ ineffective cycles.

We now have decades of research to support how to disrupt unhelpful or destructive cycles and learn to replace them with effective, respectful patterns.

In so doing, we are better able to hear and understand each other then shift and deepen our connection and develop more constructive and healthier interactions leading to more peace.

These more positive dynamics and effective communications between partners restore hope and help create a safer and more connected relationship and a secure bond.

No one ever gave us a manual on how to have a healthy, long- term relationship or marriage. Some of us had poor role models in this aspect of life.

Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy addresses that need.

I use my many years of on-going training and experience in Couples Therapy, relying heavily on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method. Both are evidence based approaches with decades of research demonstrating success with all types of couples.

See marriage map.

Marriage counseling or couples therapy can help you deal with differences and restore the positive things that brought you together in the first place.

Through counseling you can discover tools to improve communication and connection and get your relationship back on track.

There are no quick fixes. Relationship with challenges in trust and commitment to the relationship often requires more effort. If you are willing to commit to the process, I offer practical and effective tools for change so you can once more be close, connected, and caring.

Our investment in time, finances, and effort correlates with what we value. A healthy relationship or family is at the top of the list.

While duration of marriage therapy depends on your situation, typically you come once a week at first, or every other week, then we stretch out the frequency of sessions as things improve. Once we get traction some couples continue monthly check ins for a period of time as they value maintaining a healthy relationship.

My approach allows flexibility to accommodate your needs and schedule so may include longer length counseling sessions. Some prefer to come less often or to pair that with 85 minute sessions. We’ll discuss your needs and come up with a plan that works for you. Currently I offer in person, virtual, or a hybrid for couples or marriage therapy sessions.

Regardless of your past, or parents, or a “challenging” partner, if you’re tired of going around in circles, marriage counseling or couples therapy can help.

Stop worrying about your marriage or relationship. Learn to feel good about it again.

Yes, marriage therapy or couples counseling can be hard work for awhile. The rewards are worth it.

Next Steps:

Check out my pages for my Bio, Location in Chestnut Hill, and for Fees and Insurance info for counseling rates.

Call or text (215) 802-6521 or debowenscounseling@gmail.com or click on the Let’s Get Started button to book a therapy session or for a no charge 10 min. phone consult to answer your questions about marriage counseling, couples therapy, or individual relationship counseling and to learn if I’m the right fit for you. If your partner is reluctant  to attend at this time, no worries, reach out anyway to discuss what may be workable.

Deb Owens is a Chestnut Hill based Marriage Therapist and Couples Counselor serving Blue Bell,  Rydal, Fort Washington, PA. Counseling suite in Chestnut Hill, PA 19118.