As a Marriage Therapist in Chestnut Hill, and Montgomery County, PA I like to show clients this marriage map (click on map to view fully) from Michelle Weiner- Davis, author of Divorce Busting, the Sex Starved Marriage, and the Divorce Remedy.

Stages of Marriage

Marriage Map, Deb Owens Counselor, Chestnut Hill, PASo many couples think they are in dire straits when they are simply in a predictable and inevitable stage in their marriage or relationship. These stages are typically temporary.

That is unless one or both partners allow themselves or their relationship to stay stuck there. Yes, stuck.

The presence of being in a particular relationship or marriage phase is not a sign that something is wrong.

In fact, many relationship problems deepen when people panic and think that these feelings signal significant trouble, so called proof that the other person won’t change, or that there is a need to end the marriage.

Marriage Cycles

In my experience as a couples counselor, and married for decades too, all committed couples cycle through these periods. Many, many times. Sometimes experiencing several stages simultaneously.

When the traditional marriage vows say sickness and health through good and bad times its assumed that bad times are inevitable.

The difference between those who stay and those who leave may be the ability to recognize the stage and work through it successfully.

That’s called commitment.

 

Deb Owens is a Licensed Counselor in Chestnut Hill and Lower Gwynedd, PA. She works with adults and couples and specializes in marriage therapy, couples counseling, anxiety, stress, CBT, and those effected or worried about a love one’s drinking or substance use. www.debowens.com 215-802-6521